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Sample Support Group Reading

How It Works

(Revised for SAA)

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it – then you are ready to take certain steps.

Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to honestly addressing the ways in which our compulsive comfort-seeking is an attempt to cover our pain. There are those, too, who suffer with grave developmental, emotional, or mental disorders, but most of them do recover if they have the capacity to grow their own honesty.

At some of these steps we stalled out. We thought we could find easier, softer ways to address our pain. We forgot that we deal with addiction – cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help, addiction is too much for us. Remember too, that our Higher Power is also cunning, baffling, and powerful in making us whole!

Half measures only bought us time until we could begin to address our situation. Every decision we make in a day means we always stand at a turning point. We continue to ask God’s protection and care without reservation as we learn to trust that telling our stories, as honestly and truly as possible, will restore us to connection with other human beings and our Higher Power.

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:

The Twelve Steps

1. We admitted we were powerless over addictive sexual behavior - that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and to practice these principles in our lives.

Many of us exclaimed, ‘What an order! I can’t go through with it.’ Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these guides. Mistakes and forgiveness are part of our process. The first steps to maturity are necessarily going to be immature. We first tend to do things wrong before we even know what right feels like. The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The steps we have set down are guides to progress. We claim not that we have arrived, but that we are on a spiritual path.

Our understanding of our addictions and our personal adventures make clear three pertinent ideas:

a) That we were addicted to compulsive sexual behavior and could not manage our own lives.

b)That probably no human power alone could have relieved our addictive behavior.

c)That God could be trusted to heal us, if God were sought.


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